Friday, April 1, 2016

Uber Squared

Uber Horn Quartet has an exciting announcement! We are teaming up with our dopple-namer, the Uber car service, to provide you with comprehensive ride-sharing-music-listening services. Haven’t we all been in that tough spot of having to choose between getting to where we need to go and listening to our favorite live horn quartet? You no longer have to weigh the pros and cons of making it home from the bar at 2a.m. vs. hearing a Frippery.

Uber and Uber are thrilled to bring you Uber2 – Let Us Do the Honking! This unique service lets you rock out to your favorite pre-party jams like the Bozza Quartet, or wind down after a crazy night with a soothing rendition of the Bruckner Andante. It also offers you relief from making small talk with your driver and distracts you from considering all the reasons why he has a pair of rubber gloves on the dashboard.

As an introductory offer, we’re giving new clients a 10% discount. (Please consider your moral obligation to support the arts, as well as the fact that Ubers have not bought themselves new shoes or even had a nice night out away from the kids in who knows how long, when deciding whether to accept this discount.) Click HERE or use the discount code ICHOOSEBEEROVERTHEARTS.

Choose from several packages, including:

The Ride Ride – opera hits

I’ll (literally) Take You There – your favorite oldies

We Know You Could’ve Danced All Night – sympathetic show tunes for when you’ve had one too many

The Complete Works of Haydn – will sustain you through any bumper to bumper jam

Fine Print:

*Taxes and fees: Uber2 will collect state and local taxes, as well as a Chipped Tooth Fee until Chicago fills its potholes.

*Due to the quartet’s use of 4 seats, passengers should be prepared to wedge themselves onto the center console during trip.

*Hearing protection is recommended.

*Passengers should wear galoshes so as to avoid potential water damage from the horns’ byproducts.

*And of course, Happy April Fool's!!